i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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