Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Randomize
