My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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