those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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