Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
