I should be sponsored by Trojan
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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