pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I'm passing your future prison.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
