If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
