I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
You ruined the universe
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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