if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
