O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
