i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
