can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
