I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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