The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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