so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize