Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize