This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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