what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
i will never coherently bang her
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize