There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
