lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I'm like, not good at living.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
