I looked at my own cervix.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
