New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
The Olympian is in my bed
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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