waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
