a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
