Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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