Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Randomize