There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
