I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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