when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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