I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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