"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
