it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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