I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
