You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
