If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
