out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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