there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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