As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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