Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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