he wants to bone in the snuggie
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
be right there i have to get my cape
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
