I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
