Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
