come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Randomize
