i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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