Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
