I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
