glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
