my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
