Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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