you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
