this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
