It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
