that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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