Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
