How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
