i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
