Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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