This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
