I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
