Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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